Faith & Football

As a girl raised in Alabama I grew up watching football. I remember when my father got me a book about the rules of football. He felt this was a necessary read before I went out for cheerleader in the 6^th grade. I love Saturdays in the fall, I love everything about football; I even love the crazy rivalries. And when I fell in love with Auburn football I fell hard. I was just an average girl who loved football and could talk stats with the boys, until the 2010 football season.

The fall/winter of 2010 was pretty life altering for me. I felt some major changes coming for my family but I never expected what happened. I remember how that football season felt different. Every win felt personal, every win lifted my spirits higher and higher and gave me something to look forward to each week. The morning of the SEC championship game verse South Carolina on December 4^th, 2010 I got a phone call that rocked my world. I can still remember my Aunt Bess coming to spend the day with me so I wouldn’t have to be alone. I remember barely eating and staring out the cold window heartbroken and terrified of what might happen to my family. When it got closer to kick off I told my sweet Aunt B that I was okay, and thanked her for coming. I got to a friends house and was memorized as the boys who had carried my spirits through the season did it for me again! That night I was able to completely forget all of my pain and worries and focus on something positive. I knew brighter days would come.

Unfortunately it got much darker for my family before it got better. Yet the Auburn Tigers football season hit a high! We won our second National Championship and I had fallen even more in love with my team. They helped me survive even though they didn’t know my name.

Fast forward to the 2013 football season. Again this season of my life has been tough. All though not to the level of 2010, but on a personal level it has been rocky. On November 14, 2013 my position was eliminated at work. I was just in shock. I went home and saw Auburn take on Georgia. That game completely occupied my mind! With 30 some seconds left in the game we took back the lead and won. That catch was referred to as the miracle in Jordan-Hare. In the 2 weeks following that game I was hoping for a job interview, which I am still patiently :) waiting for. Then, all of that went out the window when 2:30pm came around on Iron Bowl Saturday. I watched a team of young men fearlessly fight the odds and have faith in each other on a national stage. This year’s team is so special to me because they continue to show the people that if you refuse to give up, and if you can believe in something bigger than yourself…anything can happen. You can start off a season not on anyone’s radar and prove yourself over and over until you have everyone’s attention. In this season of my life I don’t have a job, I applied for unemployment before turning 24. But I have faith that my God will lead me. I have faith that it will get better, and that I won’t get left behind. I think sometimes God lets us have faith in something tangible like a football team to remind us how to believe again. Auburn may not win the next game, but I am just so grateful for what they have done for my spirits once again.

I love my God, I love my alma mater, and I love my team! They have reminded me just because you are knocked down doesn’t mean you can’t get back up. And no matter how bad things used to be, they don’t have to be any more.

War Eagle, and Hire Me Please!

The Healing Power of Music

Tonight I got to go do my official in hospital training with Musicians On Call. My sweet friend and trainer Dana, allowed me to get a peek into the magical world of the healing power of music.

Once I arrived at Vanderbilt University Hospital I met the two musicians who are brothers. One had a guitar and the other a snare drum (don’t worry he had a towel over it to cut down on the volume). Dana arrived and we headed to the cardiac unit. I, for some reason, thought this wouldn't really affect me, but it did. I don’t know if I will ever get over the initial flash back and gut wrenching feeling I get as I walk into a hospital. The sights and sounds make my legs go numb and knock the breath out of me. Everywhere I look I see my Daddy. I see him in every person in those beds. My heart breaks, especially for the people who are alone. We walk in the first room and I try to shake the memories clouding my mind from the task at hand. The first man is alone; he has a long fresh scar down the center of his chest. The musicians walk in and start to sing “Washed by the Water” by Needtobreathe. I try to hide my watering eyes. I adore that song, the words are so powerful. “Even when the rain falls, even when the flood starts rising, even when the storm comes I am washed by the water.” No matter what happens to us, good, bad, or ugly we are still washed by the water. Nothing can ever take that away from us. That was such a good song to start with. I got to have my little moment and after that I knew I could keep it together.

The blessings didn't stop there. We visited 30+ hospital rooms and I saw some smiles that are etched onto my heart forever. We had nurses coming up to us saying certain rooms were requesting us, (even though we were going to be going to all the rooms on the floor it was awesome so many patients were excited). There was one room that we were told by 4 different nurses that was very insistent that we stop by. Once we got back around to this room I could feel the woman’s excitement. She was much older and had probably had a very long day. She lit up so bright it was completely contagious. I will never forget her smile. At one point during the night we had a little crowd of patients following us around. It was so cool to see how many of them were willing to follow the music and stand in the hallway just to catch another song.

Its nights like tonight that become seared in your mind, and hopefully stored away for times you feel bad about yourself. Tonight put it in perspective for me. Things don’t seem to be going exactly my way right now, but I am okay. I live in a world where hope isn't lost, where music is medicine and where love is a beautiful part of who we are. It is easy to get caught up in me, me, me (trust me I am an only child), but that is not who God created us to be. We were created in love, to go and love. 

1 Corinthians 16:14 Let all that you do be done in love.
xoxo

Breaking My Silence

It has been a long year since I posted last. There were times I longed to write it all down and share my struggles and triumphs with everyone, but something always got it the way. I can be the queen of excuses when I want to be. But to my defense some of my excuses were legit! I wanted to write about my Dad and what we were going through, but his case wasn't closed yet, and I wanted to err on the side of caution. In this day and age whatever you put out into cyber space can be used against you. Then there was the apartment disaster. Seriously, a nightmare, an expensive one too. I was nervous to post anything about that horrible experience because I knew the antagonist was unpredictable and it might make matters even worse. I started a new job that I thought would be perfect for me, just to find out it wasn't what I thought it was going to be. Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful for all of the things I have learned it's just... well I still feel partially paralyzed to candidly write about that since I still need a pay check. :) So, in my year of blogger silence, I have moved 4 times, broken up with my boyfriend and then months later got back together with him, got a new job, built up and then lost my savings twice, made fabulous friends, became a hockey fan, had my car bumper fixed (it’s been jacked up for 2 years, so that was a victory), settled into a church home and am now a muscle woman, due to the multiple moves. Oh yeah and I am on a billboard in Nashville!

Currently, I am back at the Bennett's home. The Bennett's are welcoming me back into their safe haven due to the unfortunate events surrounding my ever changing living situation. Laurel Bennett has been my personal saint in Nashville. She is way more than shelter to me; she is a big sister who is always looking out for her lost sheep, aka me. It is always a pleasure to be in their home. I am also undergoing some soul searching as far as my career goes. I know what I love, and I know what I am good at, so now I am going to chase it. That's what your 20s are for anyway, right? Well mine are at least. I am pumped about turning 24, because I am hopelessly committed to the idea that it will be a magical year. I am craving a fresh start and a new adventure.

It feels good to be back, no more hiatus, no more excuses.