God's Timing

Do you ever have those moments when you know God loves you, specifically you? Well I do, and I have been blessed with quite a few of those moments recently as the Lord has answered some of my prayers.

         As many of you know I have been hunting for the perfect internship for about a year now. It has been a long journey; a journey that was going to require every bit of trust in the Lord that I could muster up. One year ago I stumbled upon an application for an internship with CMT (Country Music Television) which of course became my dream internship. I felt it was a long shot, yet I couldn't find any other internship that got me as excited as the one at CMT. I had to wait for months before I could apply for CMT, so in the mean time I kept my eyes open for other great opportunities. In January I received a booklet from Campus Crusade Summer Project and saw that they had an internship that would fit my needs in Boston! I was immediately intrigued.

          I applied for both internships and knew I would be happy with either of them. I figured I would work hard to put my best foot forward in the application process and leave it up to God. So I did... and I waited... and waited...and was excited... then scared...tried to be patient...started to worry...and then wrote the last blog entry (which is kind of like therapy for me). The previous post was about trusting the Lord to handle all aspects of your life; and striving to let go of the fear and trust completely in Him. Within four hours of posting that entry I got an e-mail from the Boston Project crew saying I was accepted into the program. I was so thrilled and in awe of His timing! As the next few weeks went by I was still in the back of my mind hoping CMT would offer me an internship too; but I was nervous of being faced with that decision.

           On spring break I got an email from CMT saying they wanted an interview, I was in shock. Was God going to let me choose? Or was this a trick? Is God testing me to see if I chose Him or the CMT? I had to remind myself many, many times that I had not even had the interview so I was getting a little ahead of myself. Within two days I was on the phone with the internship coordinators at CMT. This was all happening so fast, my head was spinning. Three days after I interviewed with CMT I got an e-mail from Boston. My heart stopped when I read the line "within 72 hours"...I was going to have to make a decision between an internship I had already been offered and one I hadn't heard back from in the next 3 days. I PANICKED! I was terrified at first, how was I supposed to choose when I didn't even know if CMT wanted me? Then I got a little upset. I had gotten excited about the idea of weighing the two internships against each other, and now I wasn't going to be able to.      

          After I got the e-mail from Boston telling me I had 72 hours I went to lunch with my roommate Amy. She tried to cheer me up, and remind me that God has a plan and I just have to trust in Him and follow the plan (Which is what I always say, it's just a little harder to practice what you preach). So I talked to God. I told him if I didn't hear from CMT in the next three days that I would happily take the Boston internship and serve Him up north. We split ways after lunch and I looked at my phone to see what time it was and saw I had an e-mail. I opened it and stopped dead in my tracks. The subject line said "CONGRATULATIONS from CMT". I literally could not move. God had heard me, me, and He answered my prayer within minutes. All I had to do was honestly tell him it was up to Him and just like that He told me He loved me.

             I think I read the e-mail 4 times. I called Amy who was also in awe of His timing once again. I have always thought of Christ as someone who hears my prayers but never that fast, not when it wasn't a life or death situation. But He answered and I heard Him. I called CMT who then gave me 24 hours to decide, which I gladly accepted since now, at least, I could choose. I did not want anyone's opinion on which internship I should choose. I wanted to make a decision with just me and my heavenly Father.  It wasn't until the next day when mom asked me why I hadn't decided yet that I admitted that I felt like God might be mad at me if I didn't go to Boston, if I didn't choose to work for Him. Mom said something to me that was so incredibly true it still rocks me to my core. "You are not choosing between God or CMT. God should always be your profession, no matter where you are. Whether you're in Nashville, Boston or Auburn, we are His people, here to do His work, every day." And she is so right! If He is going to take time out of His (I can only imagine) busy day to promptly answer one of my prayers and tell me He loves me; then the least I can do is make Him my profession no matter where I go.

           The Lord is so faithful, He is so loving. It may not seem easy to do, but trusting and believing in Him can make all the difference. He hears our prayers, all of them no matter how small we may think they might be in the grand scheme of things.

"Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe." Psalm 61: 1-3